Now it’s true: most students don’t pay full price for college. In 2009-10, undergraduate students received an average of $12,894 in financial aid, split almost equally between loans and grants. Grants are the most attractive because students are not saddled with a repayment plan after college. Federal grants make up 26% of total aid. Institutional college grants account for 17%, state grants for 6% and private and employer grants (scholarships) for 4%.

But that hasn’t stopped the fact that students are graduating with larger debt loads than they were 10 years ago. This is one of the driving factors of the recent-graduate-laden Occupy Wall Street movement. Public four-year college borrowers graduate with an average of $19,800 in debt; their nonprofit private college counterparts graduate owing $26,100. This private college debt is 17% more than it was 10 years earlier, even after accounting for inflation. In addition, a growing percentage of all college debt is unsubsidized and begins accruing interest immediately.

Perhaps there are some good things which are shaking out here. That is to say, degrees might have to be evaluated a little more closely — that anthropological art history degree maybe should be scrutinized a little more, yes?

So, students will have to make smarter education choices. Today’s global marketplace places more value on hard skills such as engineering, computer technology, teaching and finance. Technical degrees and certificate programs will become commonplace. A liberal arts education will likely diminish in popularity and become more focused at the elite institutions. More students are likely to begin their education at lower cost community colleges and complete a four-year degree at schools that specialize in their concentration.

Parents may feel overwhelmed about the amount they need to save for college. But college education is one of the two lifetime investments for which we approve borrowing money (the other is a home mortgage). Students should plan to graduate with a debt load no higher than half of what they can reasonably expect from their first year’s salary. For example, those with a starting salary of $40,000 should keep their debt at or below $20,000. Thus graduates can dedicate 10% of their annual salary to school debt and pay it off in five years.

New parents who are able should immediately begin saving $430 a month for college. Alternatively, a onetime $50,000 investment should cover tuition, fees, room and board at an in-state college 18 years from now. Yes, this is pretty scary. But there’s other options…

Giving a child the gift of a college education and a debt-free start to adulthood is one choice. Other parents believe their children should participate in financing their college education and can apply the 50/50 savings approach. Parents commit to saving half of the money needed, and their children commit to the other half. Students participate by working hard in high school, applying for scholarships, taking summer jobs, seeking out work study opportunities and accepting reasonable loan levels.

The support of grandparents can help tremendously. The vast majority of the college accounts that I’ve seen are owned and funded by grandparents. Instead of buying the latest gadgets for their grandchildren, they make annual contributions to a college savings account. If the grandparents own the account, it has the added advantage of not being included as a resource on the student’s financial aid forms — and that is a beautiful advantage, trust me!

Likewise, I have clients who have shared their struggles with us about their children always wanting MORE MORE! (these are brave and wonderful clients to share such private details), and this, even, when some of these families don’t have large incomes.

And then there are the holidays — coming faster than we all think.

So how do we hold back the flood of consumerism, and teach our children the true meaning of gifts, giving and the upcoming holiday season? Well, some of my wiser clients might say …

1) Explicitly Limit The Number Of Gifts Given
Parents often tend to go overboard buying presents for their little ones around birthdays and holidays — after all, it often feels like an overflow of love AND children sure do love it.

But I know families who have always put a stated limit on Christmas and birthday presents — and yet their children don’t seem to act like they feel deprived. Christians can link Christmas gift-giving to the three gifts of the magi; others can find different spiritual reasons to not simply pour a truckload of gifts on their children. The key seems to be in creating a happy atmosphere around it, and remaining consistent.

2) Have Your Children Buy Their Friends Gifts
Why not let your kids experience what it feels like to sacrifice and give? After all, we’d all want to give ALL of our friends a gift, but the truth of the matter is that we simply cannot buy a gift for everyone on our list. We have finite resources and have to allocate them accordingly. There is a line that we all have to draw in the sand for who will get gifts and who will get a card.

Giving your children a certain dollar amount to spend on gifts, or simply making them pay for their friends’ gifts out of their own pocket, will teach them about making the hard choices of whom to give to, and how much, within their very limited resources.

And, of course, this assumes that they ARE giving gifts! If not, that’s a great place to start.

3) Share Pertinent Financial Details
Children should be protected from adult concerns. But  that doesn’t mean that they should be blissfully ignorant about how money works. In fact, we owe it to our children to properly explain where the family’s money comes from, how it gets into the bank account, and how expenses and budgets work. With a little explanation about how your family’s budget is structured, you may be able to hold back the tide of consumerism.

Again, they don’t need to feel a pinch — but they SHOULD know that gifts and items have a monetary value, and don’t just get plucked from the shelves without cost.

Other times…well, I think that we all could use the reminder that our human flaws show up very clearly in our family’s finances. The fact is that we ALL lie to ourselves, from time to time, about what’s really happening in our wallets.

This habit of lying to ourselves threatens our financial stability. Instead of spending $5, we spend $20. Instead of recognizing that we *want* that new shirt, car, or fine dinner at a restaurant, we lie to ourselves until we are convinced that, for one reason or another, we *need* that new shirt, car, or fine dinner. The current credit crunch can partly be blamed on a nation full of people who convinced themselves, for example, that a $500,000 home was necessary–even though a $250,000 home was sufficient. We must learn to live within our income … and this means, we must stop lying!

So, I’ve compiled a short list of ideas on how to stop lying to ourselves and face the truth when making purchase decisions…
1. Have (and stick to) a budget. Is this purchase in my budget? For example, my family budgets a certain amount each month to spend on clothing. We’ve agreed that this amount is sufficient to meet our needs. We set this amount before facing a purchase decision. If during the month we want to exceed the budget because Kohl’s is having a fantastic sale, then we are now lying to ourselves. We aren’t saving money by exceeding our budget during a sale. In fact, now I have to dip into savings to pay for my overspending.

2. Set a per-purchase spending limit. A wise man said, "The four most caring words for those we love are ‘We can’t afford it.’" Take some time with your spouse to set what I call a "What I can spend without having to ask my wife if it’s ok" spending limit. My wife and I have decided that neither one of us is allowed to spend more than $50 at any given time without calling and asking the other one if it’s okay (this does not apply to groceries). Let me tell you right now, my wife has stopped me from making a lot of unnecessary purchases by telling me, "We can’t afford it." Even though we had a budget for the purchase, we still didn’t need it.

3. Replace bad habits with enjoyable, inexpensive activities. Shopping or overspending is a habit that we have likely formed over years. Since our brains are programmed to react in a certain way in specific situations, any change is met by resistance. The existing habit is simply more comfortable and natural. To help change your behavior, replace the bad habit with another activity.

For example, instead of going to the mall to pass time, go to a local park with a soccer ball and spend some time with family or friends. Start or re-start a hobby. Your new hobby might even be a low cost home business where you make money!

4. Make sure that the reason you tell yourself you are making the purchase and the *actual* reason you are making the purchase are the same. Ask yourself, "Why am I really making this purchase?" Am I buying this dress for my wife because I love her and want to show my appreciation, or am I trying to prove to her and the world that I am a good provider? We lie to ourselves to cover our true motives. If the real reason you are making a purchase isn’t in-line with your principles and budget, then don’t buy it.

5. Take stock of and enjoy everything that you already have! Develop gratitude for what you already have in your life. Purchasing new things is often a sign of ingratitude for what life has already afforded us … or a sign that we feel deficient in some area.

Here are some basic things you can set into place right now, which will cover you in the vast majority of circumstances:

1) Please don’t carry your SSN in your wallet. Ever.

2) Don’t post your full DOB on your social profiles. If you really like the messages on your wall for your birthday, just take out the year at least! (Besides, it makes you more mysterious!)

3) Don’t check your bank balances on public wi-fi. Even if you do it on a secure connection, hacker programs to "snift" your info are as commonly-accessible as pirated video on the internet. This includes your mobile phone.

4) Um, don’t let your wallet get stolen.

5) In case it does, keep a photocopy of every important item in there. (Except cash, of course. That’s, er, against the law.)

6) Check your credit annually.  www.AnnualCreditReport.com is the one where you don’t have to pay for it.

7) Shred important stuff you don’t need — including credit card solicitation offers. In fact, stop those for good by going here: www.optoutprescreen.com or calling 888-567-8688. Opting out should stop most offers, and it’s free.